Get Literate; Get Laid

Askmen.com has an article in their Dating & Love section that is both funny and somewhat disturbing.  It’s called Top 10 Poems to Drop on Her, and it talks about the “direct historical relationship between the dropping of verse and the subsequent drop of her panties.”

The author gives little snippets of poems — a couple of sentences, max, so nothing too difficult to remember — and the exact situations for you to use them in.  The following lines from Rainer Maria Rilke are for when she wants to hear the “L-word” (so you can say it without actually saying it):

“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.”

The writing had me laughing the whole way through.  Finally — proof that an English Lit degree is useful in the real world.

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2 Comments

  1. WOW…I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that there would be an essay like this out there, clueless about the nature of poetry. I can forgive them, since, after all, in some twisted way an essay like this one promotes literacy.

    But I cannot believe the very last lines of this article, which read:

    “Go on, tuck a few lines in your back pocket. Like the condom carving a ring into your wallet, these lines will get you lots of action.”

    Yeah, THERE’S a great poetic metaphor! Actually, there’s kind of a funny joke in there, because if the proverbial condom was ‘carving a ring’ into a wallet, then the imaginary adressee probably isn’t ‘getting action’ at all…

    Laughing along with you,
    — Mike Arnzen

  2. The writing in this article is actually very good, and I think (hope) the author wrote it to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek. The thing I got out of this the most was the realization that, as a writer, you can skew ANY topic to ANY market.


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