I Told You Vampires Were Real

Somewhere in Colorado, there’s a police report that lists the cause of a recent car crash as “vampire.”  That’s right, according to Fox 31 News, a woman crashed her car on a dirt road because she saw a vampire.  The sarcastic reporter who did the story writes:

“The vampire, which was not seen by anyone else, apparently let her get away.”

Alls well that ends well, but if you’re driving around the back roads of Colorado after dark, you might want to be extra careful just in case.

Dumbest News Headline of the Day

And the award for the dumbest news headline of the day goes to theregister.co.uk for this beauty…

Facebook Forms Board to Lick Molesters

I’m not an expert, but licking molesters doesn’t seem like a very good way to get rid of them.

World’s Smallest Library Fits Into a Phone Booth…Literally

Phone booth libraries are the next big…okay, the next little, tiny thing.  After the bookmobile program shut down in a small English town, the residents set up a community-run, 24/7, book-swapping library in a defunct phone booth.

Read more and see photos at inhabitat.com.

Facebook Catches 3 Criminals from Around the World

People often criticize social media and the web in general, but here is proof that the internet, and specifically Facebook, is making the world a better place…

1. Thief Caught Leaving Facebook Open: Some idiot in Pennsylvania logs into Facebook while in the middle of a robbery and forgets to log out.  (Which leaves me wondering–why not just take the computer?)

2. Facebook Foils Bike Thief: An 11-year-old kid in New York get his bike stolen and turns his city into a giant neighborhood watch via Facebook and gets his bike back.

3. Police Ask Facebook Fans to Identify a Thief: Some inept burglar takes his mask off during a heist and police in New Zealand catch him by posting his face all over Facebook.

Which just goes to show you, when used correctly, this inter-web thingy can be really cool.

Devil Worshipers Did Not Take Over Twitter – Relax

Big controversy today when fans of the CW network television show, Supernatural, started talking about it on Twitter with the tag #luciferiscoming.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the show, on the last episode of the previous season, one of the good guys accidentally opened a gate to hell that would allow Lucifer to get out — oops.

Some people mistook the topics #luciferiscoming and #supernatural as some sort of weird cult thing, and Twitter consequently made those topics impossible to search for (although you can still write about them).

  • People jumping to conclusions without researching: Dumb
  • Twitter intervening (presumably without researching): Dumber

Anyway, it’s great publicity for a great show, so whatever.  You can read more about it by visiting this article: Lucifer is Coming: How ‘Supernatural’ Stole Twitter.

And here’s a haiku I wrote about it:

lucifer’s coming,
crazed tweeters, but only to
the CW

by Edie Montgomery-Pool

Cuddle Party – Would You Pay for It?

The hot new trend:  cuddle parties.  What’s that?  An article by Libby Copeland in the Seattle Times titled Strangers Attend Cuddle Parties describes it as so:

Thirteen people arrive, mostly in twos and fours, at 1 p.m. They change into pajamas and put on name tags. World music and jazz soften the mood. Mihalko asks them to gather in a “welcome circle” on blankets on the floor. He calls himself “your cuddle lifeguard”…Mihalko tells people to discuss their “cuddle boundaries” and turns them loose. Within minutes, he is bundled up with three women, his legs intertwined with theirs, his expression beatific. Elsewhere, there is foot stroking and a four-person back-massage chain.

A visit to the official Cuddle Party website, cuddleparty.com, reveals the rules of the Cuddle Party:

  • Pajamas stay on the whole time.
  • You don’t have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.
  • You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)
  • If you’re a yes, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO.
  • If you’re a maybe, say NO.
  • You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want.
    Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
  • Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party.
  • Tears and laughter are both welcome.
  • Respect people’s privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip.
  • Arrive on time.
  • Be hygienically savvy.

Personally, I don’t even like slow-dancing with someone I don’t know because it seems too intimate to me.  Come to think of it, I don’t even like slow-dancing with some people I do know.  The author of the blog post Cuddle Party from the blog, Edge of Everywhere, has a similar take on things:

I can only understand physical contact in the context of a close relationship, whether it’s with family, friends, or a partner. I mean, isn’t affection about liking and caring about someone? I just don’t get how people can take a shortcut to intimacy without actually knowing and liking each other.

That’s not to say that cuddle parties don’t have merit for some people.  I’m a firm believer in if it feels good and you’re not hurting anybody — do it.  Just don’t do it with me.

So, what do you think?  Would you pay $30+ to go to a three-and-a-half hour (yes I said 3 1/2 hours!) party to cuddle with strangers?

Twitter Addicts – Why Your Brain is Forcing You to Tweet

I once heard a news story about some sports star who was caught doing crack cocaine.  He told reporters he became addicted the very first time he did the drug.  I remember thinking, “Wow!  That’s powerful stuff.”

And now that same thing has happened to me. Except not with crack cocaine, but with something much more powerful. I’m addicted to Twitter. And I was from the very first time I used it.

I’ve been on Twitter for 5 days.  And when I say I’ve been on it for 5 days, I mean I’ve been on it non-stop for 5 days!  I’ve posted 66 tweets, followed over 200 people (people whose tweets I read), and about 60 of them have followed me back.  I’ve ignored stuff I really needed to be doing so that I could devote as much as my time as possible to Twitter.

I know one of the key steps in facing your addiction is to take responsibility, but really it’s not my fault.  Scientific studies done at the Washington State University and the University of Michigan back me up.  A recent article on these and similar studies on slate.com called Seeking, How the Brain Hard-wires Us to Love Google, Twitter, and Texting explains…

…in some addictions the brain becomes sensitized to the wanting cycle of a particular reward. So addicts become obsessively driven to seek the reward, even as the reward itself becomes progressively less rewarding once obtained.

The article goes on to state:

…all our electronic communication devices—e-mail, Facebook feeds, texts, Twitter—are feeding the same drive as our searches. Since we’re restless, easily bored creatures, our gadgets give us in abundance qualities the seeking/wanting system finds particularly exciting.

If you’re a Twitter addict (or blogging or other computer addict), click the link above to read the article.  As for me, I’m headed over to twitter.com.

(P.S. I found the link to the above-mentioned article on Twitter.) 😉

Will the Marriage Last? Calculate Your Odds with Latest Scientific Data

Did you know that these factors may impact whether or not your marriage will last:

  • smoking
  • in-laws
  • husband’s employment status

But these factors won’t:

  • number of kids born within the marriage
  • wife’s employment status

At least that’s what the data says according to a sceintific study conducted by the Australian National University.  For more information, read this article from Reuters on Yahoo News:  In love? It’s not enough to keep a marriage, study finds.

Goodbye Jay, Hello Conan

As you probably know by now, Jay Leno is leaving The Tonight Show, and Conan will be taking over as host.  I love Conan, so this makes me very happy.  Jay Leno fans also have something to be happy about–now they won’t have to stay up so late to see him as he’ll be starting a new talk show, set to air weekdays at 10pm.

In honor of this momentous historical occasion (hee hee), I’ve written some commemorative poetry…

Goodbye Jay, Hello Conan (The Tonight Show)
by Edie Montgomery-Pool
 

Goodbye, Jay
I never watched you anyway
Your jokes aren’t really my style
They rarely made me crack a smile
 

Conan – hi!
You’re a funny funny guy
The moment I heard you’d be the new star
I programmed you into my DVR

And for those of you who like funny haikus (and who doesn’t love a funny haiku)…

Jay Leno Leaves The Tonight Show
by Edie Montgomery-Pool

 

So long, Jay Leno
Your giant chin will fill my
TV screen no more

_______________

(You may reproduce this poem in part or whole, on or in a website, email, podcast, or broadcast; permission for electronic reproduction is granted on the provision that the website on which the poem is published is not a vanity publisher or a scam poetry contest which requires its “winners” to make a purchase or pay a fee before being published. You may also reproduce this poem in print material for which net profits do not exceed $1,000. Author name must be included in any reproductions, and author must be notified whenever this poem is, or parts of this poem are, used. For all other uses not mentioned here, just ask and I will most likely say yes.) 🙂

Twins Have Different Dads (I Thought Only Dogs Could Do That)

Here’s something I’ve known for awhile:  puppies in the same litter can be fathered by different dogs.  Here’s something I just found out:  humans can have twins fathered by different fathers!!  At least that’s what a recent NY Daily News article is reporting.

Apparently, Mia Washington didn’t know that either until she found out the hard way when her infidelity resulted in double-daddy twins.  No fertility drugs were being used, so the odds of that happening must have been staggering.  What a way to get caught.

Read the whole story at the link above.