Super Short Poems You Will Love, from Twitter Poets

Recently, Tina Nguyen and Claire Everett hosted a twitter poetry party.  People from around the globe joined in to write gogyohka, a Japanese form of short poetry consisting of 5 lines of free verse.  The themes were “summer” and “spirit.”  Here are some of the wonderful and sometimes quirky poems that came out of that virtual get-together…

the neighbor lady / having to remind me / that while it was July 4th / 8 AM was no time / for fireworks (by P.R. Clark Twitter)

dirty, stiff, and tart / refreshing / with a bit of a bite / my conversation / my martini (by Vince L. Wilson Twitter, Website)

nightly at 8 / office goblin spirits arise / chewing stray pens, / unfolding paperclips / xeroxing buttcheeks (by Vince L. Wilson Twitter, Website)

at my shoulder / my grandmother / long dead / still tuts about / bikinis (by Claire Everett Twitter, Website)

a shell of memory / against my ear / I listen / to the sea / of a distant summer (by Claire Everett Twitter, Website)

that moment / I was / his dream girl / but just / for that moment (by Heather Feaga Twitter, Website)

firefly-sized hope / still lit / I’d like to stomp it with my army boot / but won’t / because I haven’t learned a thing (by Heather Feaga Twitter, Website)

hurt and shattered / I swore to be lonely / till my spirit rebelled / yielding / to you (by Nimue Twitter, Website)

her / spirit wild / and free / she roamed / with the wind (by gennepher Twitter, Website)

sleeping / under the stars / cool fresh summer night / the dogs hot breath / on my cheek (by gennepher Twitter, Website)

an era lost / where any child / can run in and out / of homes / unlocked (by amoz1939 Twitter)

working late in the lab / black out / held hands with her / tip toe out / into summer night (by amoz1939 Twitter)

attar roses / no showy blooms for Grandma / when I was little / I knew how her ghost would smell / and this July she haunts me (by Liu Tiemo Twitter)

her words / have painted / a meadow in me / where countless flowers / bloom (by Paul Smith Twitter, Website)

at sunset / summer spills / itself / into the ocean’s / depths (by Paul Smith Twitter, Website)

the spirit of summer / led us to a meadow / at dusk / more than this / I cannot say… (by Paul Smith Twitter, Website)

babbling brook / merging in the sea / loses her identity / yet still she seeks / in its depths her destiny (by Neerja Pande Tiwari Twitter)

it never ends / our story / changing as it flows / like river / to sea (by Aki Gibbons Twitter, Website)

my girls / not so small / but not so big / to make popsicles / and leave the mess for me (by An Mayou Twitter)

do you / really believe / that God could love you / more than any / other (by Kane Fielding Twitter, Website)

summer / how your skin stuck to mine / sliding across hot vinyl / roads drawn fine / around Appalachian mountains (by ten ten ten Twitter, Website)

moonlight / the empty patio table / shadows / of aspen leaves / a lacy cloth (by Christina Nguyen Twitter, Website) 

to risk it all / you forget yourself / and remember / only / your wish (by Christina Nguyen Twitter, Website)

remember / that summer / mom sent us to Florida / so dad / could leave (by Cady Ford Twitter, Website)

spirit of the Muse / bless these poets / with words / as plentiful and rich / as pomegranate seeds (by Stormerne Hunt Twitter)

the earth / measures / her life / by the breaths / of her seasons (by Stormerne Hunt Twitter)

when summer comes / I will wear white / take tea on the lawn / watch cricket / and be ridiculous (by Stormerne Hunt Twitter)

Click on the links following the authors’ names to visit their individual twitter accounts and/or homepages.  Then continue the party:  add a comment and write your own 5-line poem.

Twas the Night Before Christmas…Star Trek Style

A Star Trek The Next Generation Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;
The phasers were hung in the armourery securely,
In hope that no alien would get up that early.

The crewmen were nestled all sung in their bunks
(Except for the few who were partying drunks)
And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
Had just settled down for a neat face to face…

When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
Leapt into the turbos and shouted “Deck One!”

The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.

But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
His sleigh grew much larger as closer he came.
Then he zapped on the bridge and addressed us by name:

“It’s Riker, It’s Data, It’s Worf and Jean-Luc!
It’s Geordi, and Wesley, the genetic fluke!
To the top of the bridge, to the top of the hall!
Now float away! Float away! Float away all!”

As leaves in the autumn are whisked off the street,
So the floor of the bridge came away from our feet,
And up to the ceiling, our bodies they flew,
As the captain called out,”what the Hell is this, Q?!”

The prankster just laughed and expanded his grin,
And, snapping his fingers, he vanished again.
As we took in our plight, and were looking around,
The spell was removed, and we crashed to the ground.

Then Q, dressed in fur from his head to his toe,
Appeared once again, to continue the show.
“That’s enough!” cried the captain, “You’ll stop this at once!”
And Riker said, “Worf, take aim at this dunce!”

“I’m deeply offended, Jean-Luc” replied Q,
“I just wanted to celebrate Christmas with you.”
As we scoffed at his words, he produced a large sack.
He dumped out the contents and took a step back.

“I’ve brought gifts,” he said, “just to show I’m sincere.
There’s something delightful for everyone here.”
He sat on the floor, and dug into the pile,
And handed out gifts with his most charming smile:

“For Counsellor Troi, there’s no need to explain.
Here’s Tylenol-Beta for all of your pain.
For Worf I’ve some mints, as his breath’s not too great
And for Geordi LaForge, an inflatable date.”

For Wesley, some hormones, and Clearasil-plus;
For Data, a joke book, for Riker a truss.
For Beverly Crusher, there’s sleek lingerie,
And for Jean-Luc, the thrill of just seeing her that way.”

And he sprang to his feet with that grin on his face
And, clapping his hands, disappeared into space.
But we heard him exclaim as he dwindled from
sight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!”

6 Cute and/or Funny Haiku Books You Want to Buy

work is a circus
I trapeze without a net
surrounded by clowns

               –Edie Montgomery-Pool

I love haiku, especially when it has a funny or quirky angle.  If you’re feeling the love for haiku, too, here is a list of books that might interest you.  (These would also make great gifts for that person you know well enough to feel obligated to buy a present, but don’t know quite well enough to figure out what the heck they’d want.)

Goodbye Jay, Hello Conan

As you probably know by now, Jay Leno is leaving The Tonight Show, and Conan will be taking over as host.  I love Conan, so this makes me very happy.  Jay Leno fans also have something to be happy about–now they won’t have to stay up so late to see him as he’ll be starting a new talk show, set to air weekdays at 10pm.

In honor of this momentous historical occasion (hee hee), I’ve written some commemorative poetry…

Goodbye Jay, Hello Conan (The Tonight Show)
by Edie Montgomery-Pool
 

Goodbye, Jay
I never watched you anyway
Your jokes aren’t really my style
They rarely made me crack a smile
 

Conan – hi!
You’re a funny funny guy
The moment I heard you’d be the new star
I programmed you into my DVR

And for those of you who like funny haikus (and who doesn’t love a funny haiku)…

Jay Leno Leaves The Tonight Show
by Edie Montgomery-Pool

 

So long, Jay Leno
Your giant chin will fill my
TV screen no more

_______________

(You may reproduce this poem in part or whole, on or in a website, email, podcast, or broadcast; permission for electronic reproduction is granted on the provision that the website on which the poem is published is not a vanity publisher or a scam poetry contest which requires its “winners” to make a purchase or pay a fee before being published. You may also reproduce this poem in print material for which net profits do not exceed $1,000. Author name must be included in any reproductions, and author must be notified whenever this poem is, or parts of this poem are, used. For all other uses not mentioned here, just ask and I will most likely say yes.) 🙂

Roald Dahl’s Version of Little Red Riding Hood

I like funny poetry, and I like weird poetry, so of course I absolutely love Roald Dahl’s poetry.  I recently came across a poem of his I hadn’t seen before called Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf.  Here’s an excerpt:

He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, I’m going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma
She’s going to taste like caviar.

Visit the link to read the entire poem or go to amazon.com to view a list of Roald Dahl’s poetry books, including Revolting Rhymes and Vile Verses.

What is Bromance?

Bromance is a slang term increasing in popularity, but what exactly does it mean?  Simon Dumenico wrote a funny article on bromance recently over at The Huffington Post.  He describes bromance this way:

“Homosexuality, of course, used to be known as the love that dare not speak its name–until, thanks to the gayification of pop culture, it became the love that wouldn’t shut the hell up. Now the man crush (a heterosexual male’s feelings of platonic love for another man) and the bromance (when those feelings are reciprocated) are coming out of the closet in a major way.”

Click the link above for the full article.

If you’re still not sure what bromance is, I wrote this poem to explain it to you…

Bromance
by Edie Montgomery-Pool

What is “bromance?”
You might say:
A love between two dudes
Not gay

There’s no dating,
No holding hands;
Just drunk guys stating,
“I love you man.”

_______________

(You may reproduce this poem in part or whole, on or in a website, email, podcast, or broadcast; permission for electronic reproduction is granted on the provision that the website on which the poem is published is not a vanity publisher or a scam poetry contest which requires its “winners” to make a purchase or pay a fee before being published. You may also reproduce this poem in print material for which net profits do not exceed $1,000. Author name must be included in any reproductions, and author must be notified whenever this poem is, or parts of this poem are, used. For all other uses not mentioned here, just ask and I will most likely say yes.) 🙂

Hilarious Political Limericks

National award-winning humorist and newspaper/magazine columnist, Madeleine Begun Kane, believes that “a limerick a day keeps Republicans at bay.”  Here’s a humorous political poem she wrote called Some Friendly Advice for McCain’s Veep Vetting Team:

McCain doesn’t use a PC
Or a Mac, so he needs a VP
Who can act as his tutor
In using a ‘puter
And help with the phone and TV.

You can view all of Kane’s humorous poems (including subjects other than politics) at her website called Mad Kane.