Funny Computer Poem

This piece is called A Poem for Those Over 30, but I think people under 30 will appreciate the humor, as well.  The author is unknown.  It starts out:

A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

You can read the rest of the poem at joke-news.com.  One of the lines is a bit off-color, but it’s the best one in my opinion.  😉

The Dog Show

This was one of two poems I had published around 1996/1997 in The Advocate, PKA Publications.  (I’m still waiting on my author’s copy, though – lol.)  I wrote this when I was around 16; it’s a true story about a girl I knew at the time:

The Dog Show
by Edie Montgomery-Pool

Here’s a quaint, although true-to-life story
Of a cute, little, six-year-old girl
Who had heard all about a big dog show
And decided to give it a whirl.

Up to the judges she marched
And entered her prized little Scotty.
The day of importance had come,
And she was feeling quite haughty.

As the judges looked over the entries,
She wondered what prize she would get:
One for the best of his breed,
Or one for most beautiful pet.

When the winners were handed their ribbons
Her heart was full of delight,
But joy soon turned to anger
When told she had won look-alike.

“I don’t resemble a dog!”
She cried at the judge in his suit.
He tried to explain the reason:
They both were so blonde and so cute.

_______________

I grant permission for this poem to be reprinted in full or in part electronically, provided the following conditions are met: 1) the author’s name is listed; 2) the site on which the poem is published is not a vanity publisher or a scam poetry contest which requires its “winners” to make a purchase or pay a fee before being published. I grant permission for this poem to be reprinted non-electronically (as in, paper) provided the previous two conditions are met, as well as 3) the publication is for either a charitable or non-profit event or organization and 4) no fee is charged for the publication in which the poem appears. A comment notifying me you have used this poem is appreciated but not required.

After Thanksgiving Poem

This humorous poem is all over the internet, but no author is ever credited.  If you know who wrote this poem, let me know.  It’s called After Thanksgiving.

I ate too much Turkey, I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie.
I’m stuffed up with muffins and too much stuffin’
I’m probably going to die.

I piled up my plate and I ate and I ate.
But I wish I had known when to stop,
For I’m so crammed with yams, sauces, gravies, and jams
That my buttons are starting to pop!

I’m full of tomatoes and french fried potatoes
My stomach is swollen and sore,
But there’s still some dessert so I guess it won’t hurt if
I eat just a little bit more!

Edit:  Thanks to reader, Pokey, for pointing out the origin of this poem.  The true name of the poem is I Ate Too Much, and it’s by Jack Prelutsky.

If you liked this post, you might also like this other funny Thanksgiving poem:  The Thanksgiving Toupee Souflee.